Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
