I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
