Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
