Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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