What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
