i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
