I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
