Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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