so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I party with great urgency now.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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