In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
