You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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