This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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