yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Dignity is for republicans.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
organizing the empties. That sober.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize