just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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