So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
