I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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