Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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