First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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