I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
