It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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