Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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