dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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