Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Boobs speak an international language.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
