She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Boobs speak an international language.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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