Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
