everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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