he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
he just fucked me for my cheese.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
