Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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