Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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