Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize