Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize