Screwed.edu
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
