I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
