i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
