So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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