From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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