Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
