We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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