You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
