This girl is more easily done than said...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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