i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
