Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
God, I missed his penis.
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