I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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