She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
