i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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