dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i will never coherently bang her
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
