But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
