Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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