Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You ate ashes out of my bong
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
