i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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