The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
