Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
