Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Randomize
