I hope mine doesn't look like that
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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