I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
