She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
