Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You made out with two different species that night
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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