Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I could fuck to npr.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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