This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
