You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
