I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
