What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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