I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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