He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
