Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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