I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
