THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize